1. |
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Another coffee, this time from the cup with the Christmas tree you painted on it for me.
Another new day, where redemption is within a swing’s reach.
Another prayer, from my mother
to her God on my behalf.
Another wish, that’s rooted in the past
Future plan for happiness.
Another picture, a snap to gain attention, the applause of humankind
Another story, one more word in the middle of a sentence you’ve been struggling with:
“I’m late & keeping
Working things out for myself
I’m moving out and on and I need help!”
With my future plan for happiness.
From the earth, the flower; instead of the root
Now, you curse the flower because it won’t fruit
Another long night, a search party, a team to beat in extra innings
Another winter, from New Jersey. Could it be the final one?
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2. |
World out of This World
03:44
|
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lyrics:
All that squirming from your seat
All the eyes that eye you up from underneath
The weight of the earth
& the way we’re so reckless with all things precious.
Today is here
A little bit warmer
Getting closer; trading places.
Dreaming wildly a world out of this world
A world to relieve us from
All that aches from in between
The commute to work & the way back to the house
Constant reminder
We’ve been treading water in the rising tide.
We wade in fear
Recount our miscomings
Held hostage; another year.
Dreaming wildly a world out of this world
A world to relieve us from all that needs to be done:
Spilled the coffee in that doorway
Clean it up another day
The exhaust fans been broken a few years now
Holding out for another house.
Let someone else worry about our to-do list.
We’re moving out.
Today is here
Clouds in the way
Facing a painting; half afraid.
Is there really anyone anywhere else who’d know my name?
Wildly, in a world out of this world.
Pretend, that there is no end
Until the end.
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3. |
Pretend
03:34
|
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Tomorrow; a dream
I’ve yet to sleep through
Tomorrow; a play
A fake, a faux transcendence
Everyone I know
And everyone I’ve been
Spends most of their time pretending.
Staring at a light blue smear on a black wall
An error begging to be fixed
A long hair left that the scissors missed
A crossed out task, a shopping list.
Everyone I know
And everyone I’ve been
Spends most of their time pretending.
Every bit of energy
You spent on sitting up straight
Has now vanished
Washed up & wasted
Everyone I know
And everyone I’ve been
Spends most of their time pretending.
Lean on the fragments of decay
Watch the ideas dry up & leave no trace
Haven’t heard her voice in weeks
He hides his handsome face for fear of feeling cheap.
Now, a friend you’ll meet
Closer, soon you’ll feel
Comfortable & wake up
To face the truth in you & that will be enough
For everyone you know
And everyone you’ve been
Who spends most of their time pretending.
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4. |
Someone Else's Apartment
02:31
|
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Up for a breath
Down on the carpet
Moving in or out
Different places
These walls still look
the way they did
when this was someone else’s apartment
She’s been waking
Up every weeknight
Trying to convince herself
Against the feelings felt
“No, no, those dreams aren’t real”
like the way they seem
Still she hoists high a smile
Through the back ache
“I can learn to live like this”
I said it to a mirror in my house
Now, “I can learn to live like this”
reads just like a fiction from behind your dusty bookshelf.
Elbow in the
Palm of her left hand
living out bags she claims
The red wine in her right hand explains
That theses walls still look
The same way they did
When this was someone else’s apartment.
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5. |
Baltimore Hotel Bible
02:55
|
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Somewhere there’s a rule book you’re breaking
Tore out a page from a Baltimore hotel’s bible
And it’s been haunting you since.
Folded in your wallet,
you’ve yet to read it.
Getting sick in the morning scurry to the alley
on Water St then you hurry to the next party
Depending on everything
but yourself
to get through this sickness.
It’s getting insanely hard to sit, stand or lie right
Struggling to stay awake, reading 1984 by the fireside.
A few pages into section II I look over at your boots
I wish you were in them right where they stand
Holding out your arms
Right where I’d land
In a house, in a city, where this whole world makes sense.
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6. |
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He’s convinced
waiting for a break that never comes
Off in the distance
An oasis, a mirage, a hitchhiker's thumb.
Truth is he’s surrounded by a life he never wanted or dreamed of
while holding the hand of another man who is never quite enough.
He’s invested
In the palm of its darkness
Safely sheltered
By a brushfire & sun dried leaves, steadfast he stands in steadfast regret.
Truth is he’s surrounded by a life he never wanted or dreamed of
while holding the hand of another man who is never quite enough.
Confined he’s finally free from freedom.
All these ridiculous requests
Please find me motivated, framed-right and well-dressed
We ache from within our filtered lives on display
The ease of our own acceptance we’ve been pushing away.
Truth is he’s surrounded by a life he never wanted or dreamed of
while holding the hand of another man who is never quite enough.
No, he is never quite enough.
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7. |
Chain Smoking Cigarettes
03:32
|
|||
lyrics:
Up early for work, traffic weighs on you
look down at your bitten thumb nail
It's the way that life demands
we live and breath in second hand
Somewhere though, there does exist
A week or two that will be sorely missed.
It will surely be missed.
If I can only push and pull through
Wincing while remaining true to the route
You worry at all of the other nouns I abuse
While you are standing on that fresh pavement chain smoking cigarettes.
It’s the habit that leads her feet to and away from me
It’s my longing that never satisfies
But I’ve claimed to be happy
And when necessary I have lied.
And I have lied so many times.
If I could only give it a try
She’d surprise every part of my stubborn mind
I know this but don’t allow myself to step outside
Where she is leaning on a red brick wall chain smoking cigarettes.
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8. |
Ambitiously Afloat
04:00
|
|||
It hit me last night
All over again
The pit in my stomach
An awful return
Sitting in the kitchen
Counting moths in the window pane
Ignoring everything else
Until the devil’s hour
Finally forced to sleep
At the feet of tomorrow
Where I lose my mind
Where I shake to think of the passing time
Too shy to say what I should
Instead I wait
I pick at fingernails
I crack my knuckles
Watch mistakes
Wish they weren’t made
Make a funny face into the camera
To lighten the mood
You see? nothing’s changed
We count our messy blessings
Watch a documentary on global warming
Knowing our ambitions are only here to keep us afloat.
|
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9. |
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Between the darkness and daylight
Caught in the trapping of mid-afternoon
Tearing at the ankle bone
Down a dark alley, flickering lights lead me toward my home.
Between the woman and her man
Dies the right to piss where you stand
True colors that were shown
When they boarded up all the open doors leading to their home.
Between the church and what’s at stake
A leather-bound antidote saves
The fire from its flame
It’s a fantasy, she tried to believe, “oh, to be called home.”
Between the sickness and the saint
lie the rest of us who lie awake
Equal rights evaporate
Primal prose propels outdated ideas into our home.
Between the mother and her child
An unending war, existing long before her mother was born
Lady Liberty is cold.
All the protest signs on the overpass let her know
You are not alone, as you March the Parkway you are home.
Between you and me
I feel overlooked,
disgusted, but still I’m overjoyed
At the thought of living
Oh, the sunlight, the sea & all things in between
The morning coffee & the daily routine.
Though I know we’re so recklessly ruining everything.
I know I am not alone.
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Night Windows New Jersey
Where do I go from here? Everyone is getting older. I’m losing people both to death and life. I’ve written about the sadness
that comes with the gift of life, but never like this. This time, I leaned as hard into the sadness as necessary in order to feel better.
New LP "In Memories" out 02.23.24
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